Every person can see the dangerous things that you shouldn’t ignore in a relationship. Cheating, threats, and violence are the obvious reasons to break up. But what should you do if there are no obvious problems but the relationship doesn’t seem to be enjoyable. It’s often difficult to see the difference between habit and true love.
We have collected some non-obvious signs showing that love is definitely gone.
1. Your partner seems worse than before.
A year ago, you were crazy about his voice and you kept telling your friends how cute he was. Today, his habits seem ridiculous and his voice seems annoying. You don’t want to be with his friends or parents and the way he walks makes you angry.
But in fact, the person didn’t change, it’s your attitude toward him that changed. If you are annoyed by each other all the time, it’s a clear sign that the relationship is not going anywhere.
2. You look for rational reasons to be together.
Sometimes you think about breaking up but then you remember that his apartment is close to your office and it’s cheaper to travel together. Your friends and parents like your partner which is important too.
These thoughts have nothing to do with love, they just mean that it’s convenient for you to be together. It’s better to find the energy to change something and stop a relationship that is already over than regretting that you spent years of your life with the wrong person.
3. You are bored being together.
Before you were able to be together for days and not get tired of each other. You always had something to talk about and you were always happy to listen to what he had to say. Now, your evenings are boring, you don’t fool around hugging, and you are in different corners of the apartment on your phones.
These changes may signal both a crisis and the fact that the relationship is over. Maybe, you’ve changed a lot and you’re not interested in each other any longer.
4. You trust each other less.
Before, you used to tell your partner about all your important things. And all about the non-important things: he knew everything about your friends, your grandmother, and even her dog. Now you don’t even share the most interesting events, thoughts, or feelings. You prefer to deal with them yourself or tell your friends about them.
A lack of trust is a bad sign. The further away partners are from each other, the more estranged they become even if they live together. Do you feel an emotional connection?
5. You avoid thoughts and conversations about your future together.
Sometimes you think about changing your job, moving to another city, participating in a volunteer project, or furthering your education. Even though these global plans lead to big changes, you don’t talk about them with your partner. You also don’t like it when he talks about your plans together: you change the subject when he does that.
A good stable relationship is not something you have only now, it’s something that has a future. If your goals are different and talking about them is annoying, you should try to do something about it.
6. You are trying to minimize your partner’s presence in your life.
It’s not about not bothering someone you love every second. You just don’t want to spend as much time with him as you once did. Now, it’s better for you to go shopping alone even if he has the car. Now, you like walking and traveling alone.
Maybe, you are just going through a phase. Or maybe you’re just tired of him. You really should go on vacation alone and try to understand if you want to keep the relationship with your partner.
7. Your partner moved down on the list of priorities.
Now it seems to you that there are a lot of other things to do that are way more interesting than meeting with your partner. You would prefer to talk to your friends, take a walk, or go to the gym.
If you see communication with your partner as a waste of time and you use any opportunity to get away from home, it may not be because of your routine but because you are less interested in your partner now. Try spending your time on something more interesting.
8. You provoke conflicts on purpose.
You don’t understand why you are so angry and mean to your partner, or why you raise your voice in the conversation. After a fight, you feel sorry and try to apologize, but a few days later the same thing happens.
Constant conflicts are a sign of an unstable relationship. It’s probably not because of your personality, because there was a time when everything was good with your partner. Maybe, the love is gone and now you don’t see your partner as a soulmate anymore.
9. You don’t want to solve problems.
You are ready to admit that the relationship has become worse than before. But you are not going to do anything about it. Or you are, but not now. Now, you want some alone time to wait until everything gets fixed on its own.
Some relationships last only because the people in them are not ready to end them. You don’t have enough energy or motivation to fix anything and you just continue living as usual. This is a dangerous strategy: it makes your life a routine. It’s better to take the step and break up than to live in apathy all the time.
10. You opened this article.
You probably already know that something is wrong with your relationship, otherwise, you wouldn’t even read this kind of article. Maybe it’s not over yet. It’s okay for every couple to have difficult periods. It’s important to be able to see the difference between these periods and more serious symptoms.
And how do you know that it’s time to end a relationship?