You always want to think that when your boyfriend is about to break up with you, you’ll know ahead of time. You’ll be able to figure it out based on signs and the way that he’s acting, and so when he does finally sit you down and tell you that you need to talk, you’ll at least have been expecting that. But, of course, it never really happens that way. Instead, you’re often totally and completely blindsided, wondering why the love of your life (or the person that you thought was the love of your life) is telling you that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
The truth is that there are definitely a lot of ways to tell when your boyfriend is super happy with you… and when he’s just not sure that this is the right relationship for him (or for you). It’s not much fun to consider whether your partner wants to leave you, but you never know — if you can tell that he’s miserable and it’s possible to fix things, you two just might be able to work things out and stay together. Just like you can tell when he’s just not into it anymore, you can also tell when he’s truly in love and extremely thrilled with you.
Read on to find out 10 things all men do when they’re in a perfect relationship and 10 things they do when they’re on the verge of running.
20. Perfect Relationship: Making Daily Small Romantic Gestures
Sure, flowers and candy are nice and all, and it’s not like you’re going to scream “no way” if your boyfriend ever gives them to you. But when your boyfriend feels that he’s in the perfect relationship, he’s going to make a lot of tiny romantic gestures on a daily basis.
These will look different in every relationship, of course, but generally speaking, these are things that mean a lot to you and really make you feel loved. Maybe your boyfriend knows how much you love certain pizza toppings or a certain kind of wine and so he makes sure that he gets those for you every Friday night. Maybe he makes the bed while you shower and get ready for work in the morning because he knows that it’s not your fave thing to do. He’s so happy with you, he would do anything for you, and that includes things that seem small but matter a lot.
19. Verge Of Running: Work More Than Ever Before
On the other hand, if your boyfriend isn’t happy with you anymore and is on the verge of running, he’s going to start changing his behavior. It’s pretty unlikely that someone would act exactly the way that they always have and then randomly and out of the blue break up with you. There are always signs if you know where to look.
It’s possible that he’ll start working more than he ever has before. This means late nights at the office (and he might not even tell you beforehand), weekends, and basically just seeming to work 24/7. Sure, it’s one thing to be a hard worker and have ambition, but no one works seven days a week and every moment of the day. He’ll do this because he doesn’t want to face the reality of breaking up with you or he might not be super sure if that’s even what he wants to do. It’s easier to bury himself in work and use it as a distraction.
18. Perfect Relationship: Planning Date Nights
It’s totally untrue that no guy likes a date night. When a guy knows that you’re perfect for him, he’ll plan date nights all the time. Yeah, you’re not going to go to a fancy restaurant seven nights a week (and you probably wouldn’t even want to do that… and your wallet definitely wouldn’t want you to do that). But every once in a while, like maybe once a week or at least a few times a month, you and your guy should definitely go out for dinner or drinks.
When your boyfriend knows that you’re the one for him, he’ll be happy to be in charge of date night. He’ll find new places for you to try if you guys are into that kind of thing or he’ll just make a reservation at your favorite place since he knows that you love going there so much. He wants to spend time with you and make things special, and he also loves going out with you because he feels so proud to be with you.
17. Verge Of Running: Becoming More Social
It’s just logical that when you have a serious boyfriend, you see him more often than other people, even if you do try to see your good friends and family as often as you can. The same thing will be true of your boyfriend.
If you notice him becoming more social and all of a sudden, his calendar is chock full of plans and events, that’s a red flag for sure. It’s even worse if he doesn’t invite you to this stuff, which he most likely won’t. He’s trying to avoid seeing you and spending time with you since he doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong. And he’s using socializing as a distraction. Guys can be quite flighty, but also cowardly, so if he decides to spend more time elsewhere, he’s definitely not willing to tell you it’s just not working out.
16. Perfect Relationship: Wanting To Cuddle More Than You Ever Do
Guys love cuddling… or at least the guys who are in love and feel that they’ve finally found the girl for them. Your boyfriend is really happy with you when all he wants to do when he gets home from work on a Friday night is cuddle with you on the couch and watch movies.
The same thing goes if he cuddles with you first thing in the morning, at night before you go to sleep, and basically any time and all the time. He just wants to be close to you all the time and loves being near you… and, yup, that’s pretty much the sweetest, most adorable thing ever. Embrace it and be glad that you have someone who cares about you so much.
15. Verge Of Running: Reaching Out To An Ex-Girlfriend
Another thing that a guy will most likely to do when he’s on the verge of running? He’ll reach out to an ex-girlfriend.
Of course, you’re going to be super pissed if you hear about this… and you have every right to be. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he misses her and still loves her and wants to get back together with her, although it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t, either. And of course, that’s where your mind is going to go because that’s just logical and anyone would think about those things. It just proves that he’s confused about how he feels about you and wonders if maybe he already had his great love and she was it. He’s trying to figure out how he feels and what to do and he thinks that talking to her or even hanging out with her will help clarify things.
14. Perfect Relationship: Texting You Emojis
Guys who are in love really enjoy using emojis and they love texting you emojis every chance that they get. You can be sure that your boyfriend is going to text you a lot of heart emojis (and other adorable ones) when he knows that you’re the one.
It might seem like a bit of a silly way to express his love and feelings, but hey, it’s pretty cute and it’s not like you’re going to hate this. You’ll probably love it and reciprocate and soon the two of you will have the most epic, magical, and romantic text thread going on. It makes sense that he would want to get in touch with you all the time and show his love any way that he can.
13. Verge Of Running: Reaching Out To Old Friends
Just like he might text or Facebook message his ex-girlfriend, your boyfriend might also try to get in touch with his old friends. These might have been part of the same social group as that girl, or maybe he just lost touch with them while dating you. It’s crappy but that kind of stuff does happen a lot.
He might want to talk to them about you and how he feels about things since they’re not close with you and don’t even know you, so he might feel like he’s going to get some neutral, impartial advice. Or maybe he just wants to have some fun and get in touch with people that he misses. Either way, it proves that he’s slipping away from you for sure.
12. Perfect Relationship: Asking To See You Every Day/Night
A guy who is super sure about you will want to see you all the time. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If a guy refuses to see you more than once a week, you can be pretty confident that he’s not that into you, or he’s got another girlfriend or something really sketchy is going on. That’s just not the way to sustain a serious relationship.
When a guy knows that this is the perfect relationship, he’ll ask to see you every day and every night. You’ll get into a glorious routine where you stay over at each other’s apartments, cook dinner together on weeknights, and hang out every weekend, all weekend. There will be brunch and date nights and longing in bed and Nεtfliχ marathons and it’s the couple stuff that everyone dreams of.
11. Verge Of Running: Seeing Family More
It can be easy to get caught up in a relationship and not see family as much as you want to. Your boyfriend might have been neglecting those bonds and connections in order to spend all his time with you. It’s a weird sign if he starts hanging out with them more often… particularly if he doesn’t even invite you to come with.
This is proof that he’s not sure about you anymore and that he might want to break up with you. He might be talking to them about what’s going on in his life and how he’s feeling about things, including you, or he just might want to be around people who he feels safe and comfortable around. Family is always, well, familiar, and there for you in times like this.
10. Perfect Relationship: Bringing Up The Future
It’s a total myth that guys don’t ever talk or even think about the future. Not every guy is terrified of commitment or marriage or kids. That’s just not a thing.
The guy who thinks that he’s in the perfect relationship is definitely not scared of the future. He’s going to bring it up all the time and talk to you about where he feels that this relationship is going. He’ll say that he wants to be with you forever and talk about when it makes sense to officially move in together. He’ll be the one bringing up this stuff, which is awesome since you’ll be confident that this is how he really feels.
9. Verge Of Running: Not Talking About Feelings Anymore
It’s also a lie that guys don’t talk about their feelings and they never tell a girl how they feel about her. Hopefully, by the time you’re in a serious relationship with someone, he has told you exactly how he feels about you. Guys are a lot more simple than we think, if they feel a certain way, they’ll definitely tell us.
When you notice a change in him and that he doesn’t talk about his feelings anymore, that’s when you can start to get worried. Because, well, that’s just not a good thing. It means that he’s either hiding how he really feels from you (the fact that he wants to leave) or he’s not quite sure that he’s in love anymore, which would really hurt to hear.
8. Perfect Relationship: Complimenting You Constantly
Some guys just haven’t mastered the art of the compliment and say that you have nice eyes and you’re all, “I’ve heard that a million times plus in every movie so let’s be a little bit more original.” When your boyfriend knows that you’re it for him and he’s truly content, he’s going to compliment you a lot.
And those compliments are going to feel really different (and so much better). They will feel completely real and honest and genuine. He’ll say that you are so beautiful and strong and that he loves that you work out all the time, or that he thinks that you’re just so smart and he loves hearing how your brain works. And you’ll know that he means it all.
7. Verge Of Running: Cancelling Plans Big And Small
It’s never a good sign when your boyfriend, who was once so loyal and reliable and awesome, starts canceling on you all the time. You might be tempted to say that it’s totally fine because everyone gets busy sometimes… but it’s usually a sign of a larger problem in your relationship.
You’ll know that your boyfriend is on the verge of running when he starts canceling your plans that are both big and small. This means that he’ll cancel date nights (either last minute or ahead of time, and honestly, both totally suck) but he’ll also cancel vacations. This is awkward and might even involve not getting your money back, so needless to say, this is a big issue and something that you’ll have to talk about.
6. Perfect Relationship: Inviting You To See His Family A Lot
When a guy is really in love with you and knows that you’re his one and only, he wants you to see his family all the time. His family is super important to him and so are you, and so it’s only natural that he wants all the people that he loves to spend time together and get to know each other. He also wants them to get to know you since it’s possible that you two will stay together and even get married, and then you’ll really be part of the family.
Even if he’s not so big on words and being super mushy, you can be sure that your boyfriend thinks that you’re perfect for him when he invites you to see his family a lot. It’s definitely the way that a guy acts when he’s super serious about you.
5. Verge Of Running: Ignoring Text Messages
Sure, it’s not always possible to answer every single text message that someone sends you the minute that they send them. You get busy and distracted and you do have a life and work to do. When your partner texts you, answering them fairly soon and within a reasonable timeframe should definitely be a priority. Otherwise, it’s just rude and unfair, especially if they’re trying to talk to you about something important.
When your boyfriend starts ignoring your text messages, you can be pretty confident that something is wrong and that he’s thinking about breaking up with you. This is even truer if he was always the kind of person who answered right away and maybe even texted you first most of the time. You might think that texting behavior is too small to mean anything, but it’s actually a really big sign.
4. Perfect Relationship: Getting Healthier
It’s pretty cool the way that guys can act when they’re with the right girl. If you care about your health and work out and eat well on a regular basis, you’ll probably see your boyfriend starting to pick up your healthy habits. And, yup, it’s adorable.
You can be sure that he feels that he’s in the perfect relationship when he gets a gym membership or starts running outside, starts cooking more and eating vegetables (yes, even that weird green vegetable called kale that everyone seems so into…), and just generally trying to be healthier. This is something that the two of you can talk about and bond over, which is a bonus. When people say ‘in healthy relationships, it’s totally normal to gain ‘relationship’ pound’ obviously isn’t in a healthy relationship. To be in a good relationship, you have to think of yourself just as much as the other person, which means staying active and healthy, not letting yourself go.
3. Verge Of Running: Acting Super Grumpy
A lot of guys really suck at hiding their feelings and this is very true when they’re in a relationship that they’re thinking about ending. If your boyfriend is always the friendliest guy around and usually has a big smile on his face, you’ll probably find it pretty weird when he starts acting super grumpy all the time. Sure, it’s possible that there are other reasons behind his bad mood, but if this is happening really frequently, this definitely has something to do with you.
Guys who think that they’re in the right, perfect relationship and with the right, perfect person don’t act grumpy all the time. They just don’t. Is that how you act when you’re totally in love with someone? No, of course not. You’re so happy to be around them, you couldn’t stop that goofy grin from forming on your face if you tried.
2. Perfect Relationship: Trying New Things
Guys who are in love will pretty much try any new thing or have any new experience. Yeah, they have their limits — you might not find them eagerly watching reality shows with you, after all — but for the most part, they’re interested in the things that you’re interested in.
They want to learn more about you and the hobbies and interests that you have, and they won’t think twice about taking a class or two or just doing something with you at home. You’ll be surprised that they’re so interested but it’s really not that surprising when you think about it. They just love being around you and will take that any way that they can get it, even if you don’t agree in the activity or hobby you’re doing, but hey relationships are about compromise!
1. Verge Of Running: Fighting More
Sometimes people can’t really admit to themselves when they’re not happy in a relationship anymore and when they have to get out. It can be tough to tell someone that they’re not the right person for them after all, and that can be even harder when it’s been a really long-term, serious thing.
When your boyfriend is on the verge of running, it’s possible that he’s going to start fighting with you a lot more than usual. This will feel pretty weird if you two rarely had arguments and even if you did fight sometimes, this will be a lot more frequent. It’ll also feel different because you’ll get the feeling that he’s trying to say something but just isn’t letting the words out. Eventually, you’ll have to be the one to take all of these signs and talk to him, because at this point, a breakup is probably more inevitable than not.