Breaking the ice with a complete stranger is never easy. The risk of being rejected is high, and these days online dating, and apps like Tinder have turned talking to someone in person practically unheard of. Usually being genuine, interesting, and just yourself is the best approach, but sometimes guys think they need to do something a little more extreme to stand out. Enter the ridiculous pickup line.
All you have to do is Google search pickup lines and you’ll find lists of clever, ready made ice breakers. But originality is usually appreciated, and it’s a chance to stand out and show the object of your desire that you have a personality. Even though most women probably just laugh at most pickup lines, the fact remains that sometimes, they work. A guy has hit the pickup line jackpot if he makes a girl laugh, and makes an impression. Some pickup lines are so bad they’re good, but some other ones are just bad, period. It’s a fine line.
Here are some of the worst pickup lines women have ever heard (but that’s not saying they didn’t work).
17. “What’s your sign?”
Not only is this incredibly lazy, it doesn’t even spark a conversation. Unless he’s an astrologer and can go into detail about what makes a Pisces compatible with a Scorpio, and how your Venus signs are a perfect match, this pickup line won’t inspire anything but an eye roll. Usually a pickup line is meant to start a conversation, so without that, it completely useless. Some girls are into astrology, but chances are she still won’t be impressed by this one.
16. “Did it hurt?”
Did what hurt? “When you fell from Heaven.” Any pickup line that requires a specific response from a women in order for it to work is a risk. What if she just stares at him with a dumbfounded look on her face? Then he’s forced to finish the line on his own, and although it wasn’t anything mind-blowingly creative to begin with, now he’s just talking to himself.
15. “Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world”
Not only is it incredibly cheesy, but focusing on a single body part is never going to get a good reaction. While paying a compliment is generally a good strategy, it’s usually advisable to go with something a little less sεχual. Most women don’t respond favorably to a guy’s confession that he’s only staring at her ass. Pickup lines that border on sεχual harassment are never going to get a good reaction
14. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together”
This might work if you’re in kindergarten, but on a full grown, adult woman, this one is pretty much guaranteed to fall flat. Spelling “you” with just a single “u” isn’t likely to win any points either since most people kind of hate the fact that proper grammar and spelling is dying in favor of texting short forms. We’ve all heard this one, guys, and just because “U” and “I” are next to each other, doesn’t mean you’re going to score.
13. “Feel my sweater. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material”
This one is pretty good, we have to admit. But the originality factor is lacking since this is one of the most memorable lines on the highly popular Ryan Gosling “Hey girl” memes. He’d get points for being clever, but end up rejected anyway because there’s no way he’s competing with Ryan Gosling. There’s just no way. Making a girl think about Ryan Gosling is the worst idea if you’re trying to pick her up, because she’s going to start comparing, and not many guys can defeat a movie star.Hitti
12. “I forgot my phone number, can I get yours?”
Never mind that this makes no sense whatsoever, and just consider that no woman in her right mind is going to hand over her phone number to a guy without having a conversation with him first. And if he leads with this, she’ll just be looking for an exit strategy the entire time anyway. Hitting on a woman successfully is all about making sure she’s comfortable, and jumping right to asking for her number is probably going to do just the opposite.
11. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.”
There isn’t a girl in the world who hasn’t heard this one before, and that’s not a good thing. As far as retro pickup lines go, at least this one is free of sεχual innuendo, backhanded compliments, and it does what it came to do– start a conversation. If the goal is to simply get her to acknowledge his existence, this will accomplish that, but she’s going to wonder if he was born in the 1950’s and never had any friends in high school.
10. “Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for”
Okay, this one’s kind of sweet. Sure, it’s still incredibly cheesy, but what pickup line isn’t? At least there’s no danger of it going over anyone’s head, because the entire world knows what Google is. It’s a compliment without being sεχual or creepy, and most girls will probably at least crack a tiny smile if a guy says this to them. But it’s still a stock pickup line, and it’s not going to win any points for creativity.
9. “Good thing I brought my library card, because I’m checkin’ you out”
This one is tailor-made for the bookworm girl. It’s innocent, it tells her he’s attracted to her, and any mention of books, libraries, or reading is sure to get her attention. Sometimes it’s all about knowing your audience. It’s still pretty cheesy though, but it could depend on the delivery. Most bad pickup lines are redeemed by how serious the guy seems to be taking himself. Every girl loves a good sense of humor, and a guy who doesn’t mind sounding a little dorky could be a turn-on.
8. “You turn my software into hardware”
This one can be filed under “too much information”, but it might still work on the right person if it’s more of a joke than a serious pickup line, which most lines on this list are anyway. But if a strange guy went up to a girl and told her he was getting turned on by her, she’s most likely going to take that as extremely creepy. Another one to add to the “sεχual harassment”– avoid, list.
7. “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one”
Another perfectly innocent, dorky attempt at a pickup line. It’s still possible some girls might not understand the joke… but that could serve as a helpful screening process. If a guy is nerdy enough to use a geometry pickup line, he’s probably more interested in a girl who would appreciate his sense of humor. Some girls will roll their eyes pretty hard at this, but others might find it endearingly charming.
6. “How you doin’?”
If you’re a Friends fan you know Joey Tribbiani rarely needed to use pickup lines. He just had that natural, lovable charm. That being said, he still thought “how you doin'” was a great way to start a conversation. If it worked for him it could work for any guy, right? Probably not. Unfortunately Joey also had a reputation for being a player, which is something every girl is well aware of. It’s probably best to steer clear of guys who choose to associate themselves with that reputation.
5. “Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.”
Generally, comparing someone to a bodily function is a bad idea. Fart jokes are usually pretty funny (to anyone with a sense of humor), but trying to pick a girl up this way probably won’t work. No one wants to think about farting, or any disgusting bodily function for that matter, when they’re trying to flirt. This sounds more like something a guy would say to his girlfriend if he was trying to make her laugh and there was no danger of her dumping him on the spot.
4. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple”
Also in the same league: “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber”. Points for creativity for sure, but it’s all in the delivery. Any guy who takes himself too seriously when dropping a line like that will end up alone at the end of the night. Everyone likes a good pun, and it helps that it includes a compliment. Although it isn’t overly specific to the girl, with is usually the kind of compliment that is the most successful.
3. “Is your name winter? Cuz you’ll be coming soon”
Pop culture references are always a gamble. Not everyone watches Game of Thrones, so using a line from the show (or even more risky, the books), could backfire completely. At the very least it could help prevent people who will only end up fighting over the DVR from being a couple. This also represents a certain type of pickup line– the one that’s main goal is to get a girl into bed. Obviously, it’s all depends who the audience is and if she’s down for a one night thing.
2. “Is your name homework? Cuz I’m not doing you but I should be.”
The go-to line for every college student at a frat party on a Wednesday night. Not only does it acknowledge the fact that he probably has more important things to be doing than hitting on girls, but it lets the girl know what kind of interested he is. That is, he’s just looking for sεχ. Who knows, maybe some girls would find this hilarious (because she probably has someone homework she’s not doing too).
1. “Can I follow you home? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”
Suggesting you follow a girl home is something out of most girl’s nightmares. No one wants a stalker, and despite any logic, if a girl hears this, she won’t be able to stop thinking about it when she finally does head home for the night. What if he was serious? What if he is following me home right now? She’ll be looking over her shoulder every 30 seconds. She won’t forget that guy. But it will be for all the wrong reasons.