A case of divorce
Divorce is a messy affair. A lot more than just two people, i.e. the couple in question is hurt in the course of such an event. A marriage, a home, promises, two lives, a family and much more goes kaput when divorce walks into the scene.!
Is divorce easy?
A marriage can go bust for many reasons – cheating, a difference of opinions, incompatibility with partner, betrayal or simply falling out of love for one another. All said and done, divorce is not easy for both involved. However, women often portray themselves as victims but men are equally hurt.
How does it happen?
In a divorce, years of friendship, promises, dreams etc. the memories turn bitter and makes one wonder how a beautiful relationship could go sour…
20 important tips from a divorced man!
There are no instruction manuals for marriage or for a divorce. However, little things can be done to save a marriage. Don’t believe us? Take it from a man who feels guilty of divorce and wishes he could have done these 20 things to save his marriage!
#1 Never stop dating each other
Most of us think that once we are married and start living together 24/7, there is no need to date one another, i.e. go out for coffee or long drives, picnics, movies etc. but we are wrong. When you first met, both of you made an effort to be with each other so honor this commitment as this is why you fell in love!
#2 Never take anyone for granted
Given she is your wife but that doesn’t mean she is not the woman you fell in love with. Initially, in the courting days, you made an effort, appreciated her, made her felt loved and surprised her. Continue to do the same for the relationship to remain loving, happy and respectful.
#3 Protect your heart
In a marriage there will be love if the people in it believing in loving themselves as well. Take good care of yourself. It is motivating for both individuals.
#4 Fall in love with each other over and over again
Did you fall in love at first sight? Appreciate the little things you love about your spouse, see the beauty in things and enjoy the simple things together. Everyone changes over the years but love need not change. Find or make reasons to fall in love with them over and over again.
#5 Always see the best in your spouse
True, you want to kill, yell or leave your spouse for the littlest things daily but look at their best qualities and what they make you feel about them. Focus on love and nothing else, and you will see all the imperfections melt away.
#6 Don’t try to change them
We always feel we could do certain things better than our spouse yet they are the ones doing it. when we fall in love with them as they are, with all their flaws, what’s the point in trying to change them to be like you? Opposites attract, remember?
#7 Be responsible
You are responsible for your emotions. And no, it is not your spouse’s job to make you happy all the time. Being happy is something you have to feel and the same thing can be said being sad. You need to find your own happiness, and spread it into your relationship as well.
#8 Don’t play the blame game
There are no winners in a blame game. Nothing more is achieved or won as the blame is simply bounced off one another.
#9 Let your spouse be themselves
Hold your spouse, make her feel wanted, loved and appreciated. Make her realize that you are there for her when she needs you. Let her be – yes, she can be upset or angry, or cry as it is only human to do so. Don’t run away or shut her out. Listen to her. She needs you more than she needs your gifts.
#10 Be there for her
She needs to be your center of attention because you are in her focus all the time. So when you are with her, pay attention to her, talk to her, get to know more about her and listen to her. Treat her as your most important client.
#11 Be Silly around her
Life is too short to be serious all the time. And being with someone who knows you inside out, you needn’t worry about being silly around or being laughed at!
#12 Don’t be perfect but also don’t be an idiot
When around your better half, don’t try to be all perfect. It will only give rise to unnecessary expectations and become a burden. So this also means don’t be an idiot – you can make mistakes and accept them when around them!
#13 Be sexually attracted to her
Love is not enough and lust is an important part of the equation called marriage. It is important for you to feel sexually attracted towards your wife. Devour her, cherish her and love her. Let her melt into your arms.
#14 Give her space
Yes, you love her and love to be with each other. But you still need to give her her space! She needs to be by herself for a while and needs to do stuff all by herself. So, don’t eat into her time and don’t stalk her!
#15 Be transparent
No relationship can last if you don’t tell each other everything – good, bad or ugly. No matter what the cause or what reaction you might get no secret is worth hiding.
#16 Be vulnerable
She is the one person you have promised to share your life with including your misgivings and flaws. You cannot be all perfect in front of her. Be vulnerable and let her see this side of you. She will only respect you more.
#17 Grow together
Yes, you both are aging and growing old, and in a marriage, you have vowed to do so together. Apart from this, growing together means to encourage one and other in each one’s endeavors. Respect each other’s choice of vocation and encourage growth.
#18 Don’t worry about money
Money will come and go but restricting quality time, experiences, vacations etc. due to money is not worth it. you both need to work on finances and have each other’s back.
#19 Forgive quickly
We are all humans and mistakes are common. But there is no point in creating a grudge and take the anger to bed. Forgive each other, talk it out before you both hit the bed. Forgive and you will feel free.
#20 Pick love over everything else
This is the only thing you really need. It should be your guiding principle in life and in marriage. Love resolves every problem and keeps one happy.